Oven Mitts

 
Performed by:
Geoff Lawes
Recorded in:
Hull
Recorded on:
01/11/2008
Recorded by:
Geoff Lawes
Genre:
Occupational
Keywords:
Salesman
 

Archival information

TYG:
133
Key:
C
Time Signature:
4:4
Roud id:
0
Laws id:
Master title:
Oven Mitts
Places Cited:
Yorkshire,
Sheffield,
Bristol,
Lowestoft,
Leeds

Lyrics

1
I come walking up your footpath and I ring upon your bell,
I carry a suitcase in my hand that’s filled with things to sell,
I call you Sir or Madam and I show you my I.D.,
And you’ll see if you study the small print that I’m not from a charity.

Chorus
I’ve got dishcloths, I’ve got dusters, I’ve got pads that scour and shine,
I’ve got kits that clean the strongest stains from curry to red wine, 
But once I was a miner,’til they closed the Yorkshire pits,
Now I make a living door-to-door selling oven mitts.

2
A mini-bus from Sheffield brings us to your town,
We seeks the well-off suburbs before it sets us down,
Then it’s ‘Off you go, good hunting, mind you’re all back here for five’,
It’s a way to make a living but no way to be alive.

3
I smile and tell my story  as you hold the door ajar,
Some are kind and some don’t mind that I’m charging four times par,
And some cut out the middle-man  by giving a quid as a perk,
But some are hard, refuse my card and tell me to go and get work.

4
Sometimes we’re down in Bristol, in Lowestoft or Leeds,
It doesn’t do much for family life but it meets material needs,
The day the D.S.S. finds out is the day yours truly quits,
But until then I’ll be round again selling these oven mitts.