Gossip John

Lyrics

1
Good mornin’, Gossip John, weer ’as tha been so earlye? (…lye to rhyme with eye)
Good mornin’, Gossip John, weer ’as tha been so earlye,
So earlye in the (John—morn-in’, morn-in’, morn-in’, morn-in’,) mornin’,
(Will— mo-  a-mo-  a-mo-  a-mo-  a,)
So earlye in the mornin’, Gossip John?
So earlye in the (John—morn-in’, morn-in’, morn-in’, morn-in’,) mornin’,
(Will— mo-  a-mo-  a-  mo-a-  mo-a,)
So earlye in the mornin’, Gossip John?

2
Me petticoit Ah’ve lost, (Will—Ah’ve lost) Ah’ve left it at me granny’s
Me petticoit Ah’ve lost, (Will—Ah’ve lost) Ah’ve left it at me granny’s
But Ah’ll fotch it back i’t’ (John--morn, i’t’ morn, i’t’ morn, i’t’ morn, i’t’) mornin’,
(Will—mo-a- mo- a- mo- a-  mo- a,)
Ah’ll fotch it back i’t’ mornin’, Gossip John.
And Ah’ll fotch it back i’t’ (John--morn, i’t’ morn, i’t’ morn, i’t’ morn, i’t’) mornin’,
(Will—mo-a- mo-a-  mo- a- mo- a,)
Ah’ll fotch it back i’t’ mornin’, Gossip John.

3
Ya brindle cow ’as cawved, (John—shu’s cawved) reight under t’ parlour winnder,  shu’s=she’s
(John adds a convincing cow low)
Ya brindle cow ’as cawved, (John—shu’s cawved) reight under t’ parlour winnder,
And its cawf it will not (John--su-, su-, su-, su-,  ) suck.
(Will— a-  a-a-  a-)
Tha’ll ’a to give it finger, Gossip John.
And its cawf it will not (John--su-, su-, su-, su-,  ) suck.
(Will—a-  a-  a-a-  a-)
Tha’ll ’a to give it finger, Gossip John.

4
Ya duck ’as swallowed a snail, (John—Quack, quack) now isn’t that a wonder?
Ya duck ’as swallowed a snail, (John—Quack, quack) now isn’t that a wonder?
And it all came aht of it’ tail, it’ tail, it’ tail, it’ tail, it’ tail,
And split its arse asunder, Gossip John.
And it all came aht of it’ tail, it’ tail, it’ tail, it’ tail, it’ tail,
And split its arse asunder, Gossip John.

5
Oh, Kate, Ah’ve seen thi (John gives three sharp whistle blasts). Thou ’a’n’t, yer lyin’ owd rascal!
Oh, Kate, Ah’ve seen thi ( Three whistles again). Thou ’a’n’t, yer lyin’ owd rascal!
Tha’s nobbut seen me (Will—a-u, a-u, a-u, a-u,) arm’oil,  (=armhole=anus)
(John—aa continuous)
Tha’s nobbut seen me arm’oil, Gossip John.
And tha’s nobbut seen me (Will—a-u, a-u, a-u, a-u,) arm’oil.
(John as above)
Tha’s nobbut seen me arm’oil, Gossip John.

6
There’s a lot more verses to this song but we aren’t (Will—bahn to sing ’em,)
(John spoken—They aren’t fit to year) =hear
There’s a lot more verses to this song but we aren’t bahn to sing ’em,
So we’ll bid you all good- (John—night, udnight, udnight, udnight, good-)night,
(Will— na-u- na- u- na- u- na u-) *
We’ll bid you all goodnight, goodnight, goodnight.
So we’ll bid you all good- (John—night, udnight, udnight, udnight, good-)night,
(Will— na- u- na- u- na- u- na-u-)
We’ll bid you all goodnight, goodnight, goodnight.

*The effect is that the listener keeps hearing the word ‘Knighthood’.
The song is performed in unison throughout except where indicated.
Well, I think John and Will should be knighted, or is that ‘beknighted’?
The single syllables in the repeats are sung in a very clipped staccato fashion.

Recorded by Oliver Knight at the Yorkshire Garland Launch Day evening concert, 15th September 2007

This is a traditional song

Provenance

Will told us that at the local hunt suppers there would be a group of five or so singers including people like Barry Bridgewater and Ernest Dyson and they’d all be adding their own ideas into the repeats. Before their time the same sort of performance was given by John Kaye (Haydn Thorp’s grandfather), Arthur Howard and Frank Hinchcliffe from Holme (not to be confused with Frank Hinchliffe who sings elsewhere on this website).The younger singers like Will and John picked it up by hearing it sung often and eventually joining in.

This random collection of snippets of gossip has survived in popular currency in England for more than three centuries. Read from the page of a book it is difficult to understand why, but it is in the performance that it springs to life and becomes one of the funniest pieces in the folk repertoire, especially when performed by seasoned performers like Will Noble and John Cocking of the Holme Valley Tradition.

A song from a manuscript, Jone came over London Bridge and told me all this geere, of 1579 is very similar in style and content, but is presented more as disparate pieces of news strung together. Our song first appeared in Tom D’Urfey’s Pills to Purge Melancholy 1719, Vol. 6, p315, as The Woman’s Complaint to her Neighbour. Here, as in nearly all other versions, we have Gossip Joan not Gossip John, though the tune appears to have survived more or less intact.

We give here the oft reprinted early version for comparison.

1
Good morrow, Gossip Joan, where have you been a walking?
I have for you at Home a Budget full of Talking, Gossip Joan.

2
My Sparrow’s flown away and will no more come to me;
I’ve broke a Glass to Day, the Price will quite undo me, Gossip Joan.

3
I’ve lost a Harry Groat, was left me by my Granny;
I cannot find it out, I’ve searched in every Cranny, Gossip Joan.

4
My Goose has laid away, I know not what’s the Reason;
My Hen was hatch’d to Day, a Week before the Season, Gossip Joan.

5
I’ve lost my Wedding-Ring, that was made of Silver gilt;
I had Drink would please a King, and the whorish Cat has spill’d it, Gossip Joan.

6
My Duck has eat a Snail, and is not that a Wonder;
The HORNS bud out at Tail, and have split her Rump asunder, Gossip Joan.

7
My Pocket is cut off, that was full of Sugar-candy;
I cannot stop my Cough, without a Gill of Brandy, Gossip Joan.

8
O I am sick at Heart, therefore pray give me some Ginger;
I cannot Sneeze or Fart, therefore pray put in Finger, Gossip Joan.

9
O pitty, pitty me, or I shall go Distracted;
I have cry’d till I can’t see, to think how things are acted, Gossip Joan.

10
Let’s to the Ale-house go, and wash down all my Sorrow;
My Griefs you there shall know, and we’ll meet again to morrow, Gossip Joan.

The tune was utilized in various ballad operas of the early eighteenth century including Gay’s Beggar’s Opera. Note the abab rhyming pattern not continued in the eight or so stanzas added to the stock during the next three centuries.

Oral versions have been found in most areas of England where any extensive collecting has taken place. A version was published in Peter Buchan’s Secret Songs of Silence but as he cast his net wide it doesn’t necessarily mean he collected his version from a Scottish source though many English broadside texts had found their way into North East Scotland by the early nineteenth century. It is of interest to note that by this time it was perceived as a bawdy song too indelicate to be included in a respectable anthology. It has been found in America in North Carolina, but is not common there, though a broadside, Gossip Jones, was printed in America. In Carl Sandberg’s American Songbag, 1927, p51, is a three-stanza minstrel version, Good-by, Liza Jane, which utilizes the usual tune and one regular stanza, but the Gossip Joan refrain has been replaced by ‘Oh, it’s good-by, Liza Jane’.

No British broadside versions have survived but an eleven-stanza sequel, A Comic Song by Mr A Bradley, was printed on a broadside of the mid-eighteenth century.

As well as the traditional Holme Valley version there is one from Harrogate in the Hudleston Collection with just three stanzas which is very close to the Holme Valley version, also having ‘John’ instead of ‘Joan’. (See Hudleston Songs of the Ridings Pindar and Son, 2001, p8)