The Muffin Man

 
Performed by:
Will Noble
Recorded in:
Recorded on:
21/01/2007
Recorded by:
Ray Padgett
Genre:
Humour
Keywords:
Churches,
Churchmen,
Sex,
Elopement,
Bells
 

Archival information

TYG:
87
Key:
E flat Maj
Time Signature:
4/4
Roud id:
1771
Laws id:
Master title:
The Muffin Man
Places Cited:

Lyrics

1
Now Ah’ve ’ad a lot of trouble in me life all through a muffin man;
’E thought ’e’d charm my wife with ’is muffins, wasn’t it an awful plan?
Ah never thowt when I ate ’em for me tea into what trouble Ah’d fall;
For hours and hours the, neighbours say, outside our ’ouse ’e’d bawl.
Ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong, ’e sold ’is muffins as ’e went along
Ah never knew there was anything wrong to cause me grief or sorrow,
But now I ’ave to regret to say, she eloped with that muffin man yesterday
’E stole me ould wife’s ’eart away with ’is ring-a-ding-a-ding, ding-dong.

2
Now my brother Jim every Sunday’s engaged in ringin’ the ould church bell;
One Sunday mornin’ it did sound funny, the bell it didn’t ring so well.
Ah thowt Ah’d find out what was wrong and what ’ad made it stop;
Ah climbed up the belfry steps and when Ah reached the top:
Ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong, Ah soon discovered there was something wrong,
Ah found out the trouble ere Ah’d been there long, an’ Ah fell back astounded;
For there was brother Jim with a girl on ’is knee, an’ that’s why the bell didn’t ring so free,
For ’e was ticklin’ ’er you see between the ring-a-ding-a-ding, ding dongs.

3
Now a parson to ’is curate one Sunday morn said just for a little bit o’ fun,
‘Ah’ll bet Ah’ve kissed more ladies in this church than you.’ The curate ’e said, ‘Done!’
‘We’ll stand each side the old church door and this shall be our sign,
Ah’ll say ping-pong for the girls Ah’ve kissed and tha says ding-dong for thine
‘Ding-dong’, ‘Ping-pong’, ‘Ding-dong’, ‘Ping-pong’; There were more ding-dongs than there were ping-pongs.
Presently a nice little lady came along and the curate ’e said, ‘Ding-dong.’
The parson said, ‘No ding-dong there, for that’s my wife, Ah do declare!’
’E says, ‘Ah don’t give a bugger, Ah’ve still been there, she’s a ring-a-ding-a-ding, ding-dong.’